Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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