I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize