Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
