I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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