Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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