Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
