Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
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Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i dont even know how to be here
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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