maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
