no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
