my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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