how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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