i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So much rum. So many feels.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
