Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
what day is it and did you see me today?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
