There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
