Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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