Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
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Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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