dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
there's paper in my vomit.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
