You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
