im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
