i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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