My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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