I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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