u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize