they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you will always have a special place in my vag
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
