Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
