Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
