I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I forget how to act sober
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
