i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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