What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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