woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
