It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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