we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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