They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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