I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
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You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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