Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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