I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
