The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
