i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
