he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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