He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
