i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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