ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
