Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
