So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
