Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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