We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize