I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
