you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
