Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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