You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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