Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
