Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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