Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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