I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
