Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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