if only i could text you this smell
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
