There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize