Don't you send me to vm
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize