What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
