Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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