why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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