We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
