I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
