so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize