erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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