Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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