Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
