smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
